Maybe When
by Xionin
Summary: *Complete!* Short series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. (B/S) 'Maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [ because you know how much I loved that ] and then moves into the
1. Every Night I Save You

**Title**: Every Night I save You- Chapter 1 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: R [soft PG this chapter]  
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [sarcasm because you know how much I _loved_ that /sarcasm] and then moves into the 'what ifs' for Buffy and Spike.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Every Night I Save You

"Spike!"

Willow rushed into the cavern, still buzzing from the White Magic she'd summoned. She had been running towards the school's exit when something pulled her in the direction of Hell central. When she arrived she found Spike pinned in a circle of sunlight, a pure beam of it emanating from the amulet on his chest, and Buffy pleading with him to leave with her.

"I need to finish this, pet!" He explained, glowing from the power of the charm as it amplified his soul, cleansing him. Willow could see it happening; see the demon burning away within leaving only the Champion. He was being transformed and he didn't even know it. Buffy fell silent and clasped her fingers with his. He looked at her as if in a thrall, Willow felt the tears in her eyes watching the two of them. When their joined hands burst into flames, her tears fell.

It was so beautiful.

A rumble in the ground beneath them caused both Willow and Buffy to almost lose their footing. Fortunately, it brought Willow back to her senses and she approached the blonde pair.

"No!" she shouted. "Spike you can get out of here now, you've done enough!." At the sound of the Wicca's voice, Buffy spun around. She became immediately concerned for her friend's safety.

"Willow!" She pushed her towards the entrance. "Run, get out!"

"Wait, Buffy!" Willow turned to Spike. The heat coursing through him must have been unbearable, but he'd closed his eyes and there was almost a smile on his lips. He was prepared to die to save them. "You can take it off in a few seconds, Spike, just hold on! Just a few more seconds!"

He didn't hear her, though, so enraptured by the ecstacy of the soulful light, unaware of what it was doing to him. Buffy looked back and forth between them confused.

"Will...what are you saying? Quickly!" Her eyes darted between her best friend and her...the man she couldn't imagine life without.

"Hold on Spike!" Willow grabbed Buffy and turned her towards him, screaming in her ear. "Buffy, he can't do it alone. I'll hold you for leverage, but you've got to get that thing off him. He's done what he's supposed to do, but if he doesn't get it off he's toast!"

Buffy blinked a few times and resisted the urge to turn around. All she could see was Spike and the pain he was in. The cavern was disintegrating around them. If Willow was right, there wasn't much time.

"Tell me what to do." Her resolve face set in and she braced herself. Willow smiled resolutely and instructed Buffy to grab the amulet, break the chain and toss it into the cavern.

"And then what?" Buffy yelled.

"And then we all run like hell!" Willow responded. "But hurry, he can't handle much more!"

Buffy planted her feet and stretched her arms towards Spike. For the first time in her life, she cursed herself for being short with short arms. Fortunately Willow's hold on her afforded a few more inches than she would've had on her own. She reached up as pieces of dust and rock fell into her eyes, but she didn't flinch. She managed to wrap four fingers through the chain around his neck and winced as the searing heat of the metal ate into her skin.

Spike's eyes had been closed in almost a peaceful expression but they popped open when he felt the Slayer make the first tug. He looked at her disbelievingly. Was she still there?

"Buffy?" His voice was weak, now, and he frowned.

"I'm...not...leaving...you...here!" Each word was emphasized with a pull on the chain and she grunted with the effort as she felt the links pop in her hand. The force of it sent her tumbling over Willow and they were both thrown to the cavern floor as Spike sunk to his knees.

"Throw it!" Willow screamed and pointed to the center of the cavern. She scrambled to her feet and went to help Spike.

Buffy stood on shaky ground and, summoning every ounce of strength within her, careened the amulet into the mouth of the cave. The silence came immediately and Buffy turned to Willow confused. The redhead was holding up a very weak Spike by his waist. When she looked up, her face fell.

"Shit." She whispered. "There's no time." Just as she spoke a shaft of light 10 meters in diameter shot up into the air, originating from the amulet's landing place. Buffy jumped towards her friends.

"Hecate help us!" Willow held out her hand and Buffy grabbed it just when the Wicca's hair turned white. The three of them were suddenly encased in a bubble of energy that swallowed them up and collapsed in a blink of light just before the roof caved in.

Dawn was startled when a white-haired Willow, an unconcious Spike and a frantic Buffy materialized at her side in front of the school.

"Oh thank God-" she looked at Willow. "-dess?" Willow smiled briefly as once again her hair and eyes returned to their normal hues. She handed Spike over to Buffy and Dawn before she turned back to the school.

"We need to get out of here...NOW!"

Buffy followed her gaze, as did Dawn. The building was collapsing in upon itself. Palm tree were being sucked towards an invisible void and the three of them could feel its pull.

"Come on, get to the bus!" Giles screamed behind them. It was all the instruction they needed. Buffy hoisted Spike over her shoulder and ran. Willow and Dawn followed. As soon as they were clear, with everyone on board, the bus lurched forward.

Buffy, as gently as she could, lowered Spike into one of the empty seats He was feverishly hot. She placed her hand on his forehead as she looked over the back of the seat at the scene of destruction behind them. The school, quite literally, disappeared, as did several surrounding blocks. It all stopped, however, and Robin rolled the bus to a stop. Faith immediately went to him to survey his injuries.

When silence fell, everyone looked at Willow.

"It's over." She smiled. "The Hellmouth is officially closed for business." Giles removed his glasses and scratched his head.

"I don't understand? What on earth - what did this?"

Buffy had turned her attention back to the unconscious and unwitting hero of the day. She smoothed her hand over his forhead over and over as if reassuring herself that he was there. She didn't kow if he would be alright, but she prayed that he was.

"Spike," she said softly, partly to answer the Watcher's question and partly to call out to him as his lay there unconscious. Willow unwrapped herself from Kennedy's embrace and came to kneel beside the blonde pair. All able eyes were on them. She place her hands on his chest and smiled at Buffy.

"He's going to be okay, Buff, but...we need to talk." Buffy frowned in confusion, but she nodded.

"Later, we will." She smoothed the hair back from his forehead, noting again how warm his was and hoping that the amulet hadn't done any permanent damage. "First we go home."

TBC: Chapter 2 - A New Beginning


	2. A New Beginning

**Title**: A New Beginning - Chapter 2 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: R  
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

A New Beginning

Nineteen people died.  
Anya, Cho Ahn, Amanda and more than a dozen others.

Nineteen lives: the price for saving the world.

Contacting all of their families was the hardest thing Giles ever had to face. As only one of two remaining Watchers, and the only one to witness their heroism, the task fell to him.

He felt compelled to do it anyway and, as the senior member of the shattered Council, he took charge of its finances. Over the first few days after the 'Final' battle, he'd made room number 257 of the Sunnydale Astor Hotel into a makeshift Council headquarters. From his window, he could see the ruins of the high school and its surrounding blocks. It stood, a gaping hole in the ground, as tribute to those who had fallen. In some way it steeled his reserve as he dialed the numbers to reach the families of these little heroines.

Only a day after the Victory, basic utilities had been restored as civil servants slowly mad their way into town. Most of the town remained deserted, however. The police set up barracades around the "crater" and local news crews were beginning to set up shop with the breaking news: Sunnydale hit by meteorite. 

Ah well, whatever they needed to believe.

Giles knew the truth and he offered it, abridged of course, to each family along with promises to help with any arrangements and an offer of a generous gift from the Council to ease their pain and suffering. Money was nothing in the face of loss, but it could take the sting out of the day-to-day and some of these families were in desperate need of any help they could get.

So did his family.

The night of the battle had been spent at 1630 Revello Drive. A hushed atmosphere housed both mourning and relief. Giles had padded silently through the house, which seemed so empty then, despite still bursting at the seams. He'd stopped at Buffy's door and peered in at her sitting beside the bed. In it lay a comatose Spike. Spike. He had somehow saved them all.

Even now Giles cannot seem to wrap his head around that one.

His Slayer was...well, she was doting, there was no mistaking. She'd caressed his hand and kissed it lightly, when she thought no one was around. She'd whispered to him, no doubt asking him to please come back and to be alright. He'd felt like a voyeur watching her with him, but it was like a train wreck: he couldn't turn away. But he'd forced himself to. He gently rapped on the open door to get her attention. When her reddened eyes looked up at him, however, he'd been momentarily dumbstruck.

"Hey." She'd said.

"Buffy...I wonder i-if I could speak with you...a-and the others, Willow, Xander, Dawn...for a-a moment?" He'd raised his eyebrows apologetically and she'd smiled a small smile.

He'd taken them into the kitchen to explain his plans. Mostly, it involved money. Money to give them new lives and take them wherever they wanted to go. But it also concerned the Council and his plans to rebuild it.

He'd told them, in no small detail, of what they would each receive, taking each one aside privately. He'd also explained that all active slayers would be paid a salary. He'd fought to check his anger when he recalled how he'd found out exactly how much money the Council had stashed away for no good use. He'd remembered how Buffy had struggled to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.

No more.

He'd made her a millionaire in the space of a conversation. Thank God for retro-active pay.

She was awestruck and thanked him with tears and hugs. All of them had reacted that way. A Watcher's salary for Xander, if he would accept an apprenticeship, which he did. Eagerly. A 'consultant's fee' for Willow that made her eyes wide and her stutter prominent. And a rather sizeable trust fund for Dawn. He wasn't sure how to justify that one to the Council, but then again he didn't need to. He _was_ the Council.

In the end, they all fell silent again. It was Xander that had spoken first.

"I..." Words were difficult for him in these hours since Anya's death. "I need to get away...f-for a while. Y'know." He'd made a half-hearted attempted at a snort. "Clear my head?"

Willow put her arm around his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Do whatever you need to do, Xan. We'll be here for you. He'd nodded, and with that, was gone. He hadn't told anyone where he was going and they didn't ask. He needed this.

Faith was at Robin's and he could talk to them later. So everyone, it seemed, had been taken care of. Everyone except Spike.

When it came to the unusual vampire, Giles was at a loss. What would he give him? What would he want?

It had been nearly 12 hours and Spike hadn't come to. Buffy had said he was warm, which was nearly impossible. Vampires didn't get fevers, did they? Willow had promised to explain everything, but not until he came around. Still, she wouldn't be able to explain why Spike had done the things he'd done to help them. Why he had been willing to die in that cavern. For them.

Two days later, Giles looked out over the cavern. He drank the rest of his tea and headed out the door, on his way back to Buffy's house. The girls were leaving today, and he needed to see them all off.

-----------------

On the afternoon of the seventh day, Spike opened his eyes. Buffy had been at his side almost the entire time, constantly asking Willow why his was still so warm. Again and again, Willow refused to answer. "Not until he's awake."

The first thing he saw, in the haze of filtered sunlight seeping through the closed curtains, was a head of honey-blonde hair resting next to his arm. He slowly reached over and caressed it, careful not to wake her. He smiled to himself.

"Mus' be in Heaven." He thought aloud, which caused the Slayer to raise her head.

"Spike?" She smiled. "Not heaven. Just me." She sat up and took his hand in hers.

"Then I was right." The words were slurred. Shaky. His head was pounding, his mouth dry, but other than that he felt...fine. Mostly. Something was off. "What happened?" As if on cue, Willow poked her head inside the door.

"Oh goody, you're awake!" She swung the door open wide. "Giles! Dawn! Come quick!" She stepped in the room and Spike tried to sit up a little more. He was weak and Buffy had to help him.

"You up for a little chat?" Willow seated herself at the end of the bed, opposite Buffy, facing him. Giles and Dawn both entered the room, a huge sigh of relief surprised Giles. Dawn was beaming.

"Spike!"

"Niblet." He smiled at her with obvious fatigue.

"OK." Willow took a deep breath. "So...this is the deal."

TBC Chapter 3: The Whole Nine Yards


	3. The Whole Nine Yards

**Title**: The Whole Nine Yards - Chapter 3 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: R  
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

The Whole Nine Yards 

Their faces revealed varying degrees of shock, disbelief and quiet surprise. The only one seemingly nonplussed by Willow's explanation was the man himself.

"So..." he began slowly. "You're tellin' me that...I'm...alive?" He paused as if the words hung suspended in the air before him. He waited for them to be erased from the canvas of this new reality.

"Yup." Came Willow's educated response. She smiled and tried to meet his downturned eyes.

"Alive...as in-"

"As in you have a heartbeat, your blood is warm and...well...yours. Alive: the whole nine yards." She reached out and touched his arm, as if to confirm it for herself and he flinched. "Sorry." She removed her hand. Spike's eyes darted to hers apologetically.

"Sorry, Red, 's jus'-" He frowned, searching for the words.

"It's kind of a shock?" She finished for him and he nodded. An uncomfortable silence filled the room as everyone stared. Spike felt as if he were on display. Normally, he would have been annoyed at being gawked at, but now he couldn't blame anyone. He'd 've been staring too.

He sat, contemplating for a moment, and then his eyes went wide with a realization. He'd hesitantly turned to Buffy, whose gaze he had been avoiding, afraid of what he'd see there. She was still hovering about the edge of his bed like a ghost.

Tears pooled in her eyes and glistened on her cheeks. Spike noticed a purplish bruise fading from her temple and he frowned, tilting his head in concern; himself immediately forgotten. She smiled then, knowing exactly what he was reacting to. She moved closer to him and took his hand again. He grasped it as if it were a lifeline.

He was afraid. She could smell his fear and she didn't like it.

'Alive?' What did that mean. 'alive?' At what cost?

"Will" She addressed her friend without taking her eyes out of his. Pacific blue they were, though dulled around the edges from his ordeal. "Explain...please." It was a quiet plea to settle his fears.

Spike had worn the amulet to help with the battle. He'd accepted it, and whatever consequences it brought with it, without even asking what they were. And being alive meant what? Giving up his immortality? Becoming mortal again? Is that what he really wanted? Was that a choice he would have made willingly?

Had he known, would he have still accepted the role of Champion? In her heart, Buffy hoped that the answer to those questions was yes. In her soul, she knew it was the only answer.

Willow turned to Spike, but she placed her hand on top of theirs. When she spoke, her voice was low and soothing.

"Your demon...has been vanquished. It's gone. You've been cleansed, Spike." She paused to allow the truth of her words to settle on him. Giles moved closer, awestruck by these events. Dawn sat down in a chair as she felt her knees grow weak. She had an enormous smile on her face.

"Wow...Spike, I-" She whispered, but Giles gestured for her to be quiet. He knew there was more.

"Willow, please..." Continue. The silent request hung in the air.

"Try-" She searched for the right way to explain it all. "Try to reach inside and find the...the guilt...that you've been carrying since...since you-"

"Got your soul back." Buffy finished quietly. She suspected that he would be unable to find it; feel it. As if reading her thoughts he shook his head.

"I don't - it's not..." he stuttered.

"It's gone, Spike. You've been cleansed." Willow smiled.

"Yes, er, you said that Willow, but what does it mean?" Giles took off his glasses.

"It means," she continued to address Spike and Spike alone. "You are forgiven. Exonerated, I guess is the better word. You've been cleared of every bad thing the demon in you ever committed." She smiled warmly as the information turned over in his mind. "I felt it when the amulet was activated. I dunno, somehow...I was drawn down there. Something compelled me to see, and I did, I saw your cleansing and it was amazing, Spike. You've been given such a gift." Tears sprung to his eyes.

"Why?" His whispered voice was tremulous.

"Because-" Buffy startled everyone by answering his question to Willow. "Because you took up the role of Champion without a second thought. Because-" she placed her other hand on top of Willow's and his and hers. "-you...are a good man, Spike, and you just saved the world." He was shaking his head 'no.'

"And you did it," she ignored his humility. "expecting no reward. You did it knowing you would probably die. You did it because you knew it was the right thing to do and that no one else could have done it." Her voice wavered as fresh tears spilled from her emerald eyes.

Spike's eyes closed, his shoulders slumped as he wept silently. He was shaking and Buffy raised one hand and caught some of the tears on his cheek with her palm. She was looking at him in such a tender way that Willow's breath caught. She'd never seen that look on Buffy before. Despite her injuries, she looked beautiful. And in love.

Willow withdrew from them and stood. Giles was, quite honestly, in shock.

"Spike...is he human? Willow, is th-that what you're telling us?"

"No." She replied softly, which made everyone turn their eyes to her once more. "Or yes, but no." Buffy frowned at her and Spike opened his eyes confused.

"But you said-" Dawn voiced everyone's thought.

"I said he was alive, not...human, so to speak." She tried to explain.

"OK," Buffy took a deep breath. She was squeezing Spike's hand so tightly, she would have injured an ordinary person, but neither of them noticed. "Please explain, using the smallest words possible."

Willow nodded, wringing her hands, and she began to pace the room.

"Spike is..." she turned to him, deciding not to speak of him as if he weren't there: a favorite Scooby pasttime over recent years. "Spike, you'e mortal, but not human. You're more...than human, you're a true Champion. A...you've been chosen to fight on the side of good against evil. You'll age, but way slowly. A-and you have healing powers like, well, like Buffy. Like a slayer."

"So...Spike's like a male slayer?" Dawn chimed in.

"Uh, for lack of a better analogy, I'll go with that one, yeah." She grinned nervously. "Only he's...charmed."

"Charmed?" Giles, Buffy and Spike spoke simultaneously.

"M'not going to find out I have two sisters and start callin' on the power of three am I?" Spike hoped he was joking. Buffy laughed. He was making jokes, so he must be feeling better. Willow shook her head.

"But...Spike is alive, right?" Buffy pressed. "Mortal?" She turned to him and smiled brightly, even more so when he returned it.

Spike felt happy, sad, confused and a little sore. Looking at Buffy, at what he saw in her eyes...  
She'd called him a man on more than one occasion recently. She'd called him an ally; a friend and later a Champion. And now...now all of those things had come to pass. He was a good man; a man for the good. No more vampire. No more demon. A true White hat.

Ah the irony.

He was...worthy. He smiled into her and took her hands. The look of pride on her face brought new tears to him.

"Buffy," he breathed. "Thank you." Emotions threatened to choke him.

"You don't have anything to thank me for. You did it all."

"I couldn't have - not without you...your belief in me." Buffy looked down and drew another deep breath. Without looking up she began to speak.

"Spike...I need-" She drew another shaky breath. "I need to apologize to you."

"Buffy, no you don't-"

"I need...to apologize to Spike and I need you guys to hear this." She glanced up at Willow, Giles and her sister. They are stared at her. Waiting. She looked back down at her hands and his.

"I want to apologize to you, Spike, because I haven't always given you the...credit...you deserved. You've been on this path for...God, I dunno...as long as I can remember and I know that I've often been cruel." Spike squeezed her hand to protest, but she continued. "I won't go into the details, but I- I just..." her voice broke.

"I've always known, in my heart, what mind of a man you were. I just didn't...I couldn't listen...sometimes. I fought not to see it; see you. Please understand-"

"I do luv, I do understand-"

"No. You don't. I didn't...I didn't want to be wrong. About you." She sniffled. "And now I find out that I wasn't and I'm so relieved and I feel ashamed for feeling relieved. Because it wasn't about you, it was about me. As usual. All. About. Buffy.

"I made your...desire to do good...about me. I mean, how ridiculous is that?"

"I did that luv, not you."

"No. It was never about me, it was always about you. What you've done-" A sob escaped her throat and Spike started making slow circles on her hand with the pad of his thumb. "You're...so amazing, Spike." She looked up at him and the tears flowed from her eyes, prompting his own. The room stood in stunned silence.

"You're the most incredible person I've ever known and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, because now it's going to seem like it's only because you're...because...and it's not! It's so not..."

She was rambling and it made Spike smile.

"Buffy-" he said softly.

"Do you know what I'm trying to say? 'Cause I've never been good with words and-"

"Buffy." He said a little louder and she stopped to finally look up at him. "I understand and I thank you. I hope this means that we...can be friends now?"

She smiled and exhaled a breath she'd been holding for who knows how long.

"Yes. Absolutely!" She brushed more tears from his face and he returned the favor. They were both smiling, oblivious to the rest of the room.

"Can I jump on the apology bandwagon and segue right into friendship too?" Willow's voice brought them out of the reverie.

"Of course, Red, and thank you. THANK YOU! Thank you so much for...for everything." He finished quietly. Willow blushed and nodded. She turned towards the door and silently gestured for the others to leave the room. They both nodded. Willow exited. Dawn walked over to the bed, chewing her lip.

"Can we...um-"

"Yeah, niblet. We can." Spike smiled brightly for her. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and bounced out of the room. Giles had been staring at Spike for several minutes. When he realized that he was the only one left with the pair, he self-conciously placed his glasses back on his nose.

"Well...Spike. It would seem that you are...full of surprises." He smiled a small smile. "I expect that we have a great deal to discuss."

"Ever the Watcher, eh?" Spike grinned. Giles chuckled.

"Er, yes, well..." He nodded to Buffy who gave him a grateful smile in return and he left the room, closing the door behind him.

When Spike turned back to Buffy, she was looking at him in a way he'd never seen before. The green pools of her eyes seemed deeper than usual. Her mouth softer. The year's events showed fatigue in the slouch of her shoulders, but the weight of the world had been lifted.

"So." He said softly.

"So." She breathed.

"Can I ask a question?" He tilted his head ever so slightly. She loved that little habit of his. She noticed the color in his face, now. Not from borrowed blood, borrowed lifeforce, but from his own. It was Spike, her Spike (and was he still hers?), but mortal.

"Shoot." She smiled.

"Well-" he was suddenly very unsure of himself. "I was thinkin'...about somethin' you said not too long ago."

"Yes?" Watching his lips move was incredibly distracting. They'd always been a weakness for her before, but now...they seemed to have a life of their own, especially the full, sweet bottom one.

"A-and you were saying 'maybe when'- before...before I sodding cut you off..."

She smiled. "Yeah?"

"Well-" He cleared his throat. "I was wondering-" Oh God his eyes were so blue. Had they been this blue before?

"Mm hmm?" She hoped he'd get to the point soon, she was getting sidetracked by that damned bottom lip. It was pouting a little and it was all she could do not to flatten him to the mattress and suck on it until he-

"When is 'when'? Exactly?"

"Huh?" She looked at him in confusion.

"You said 'maybe when.' So...when is when?" She smiled slowly before she answered.

"When...would be now, Spike."

"I see," he said, trying not to jump up and do a jig. "So...that means what?"

"What would you like it to mean?" It was amazing to her how easily they fell into this flirtatious dance. It's not like they'd just avoided the Apocalypse to end all whatever-the-plural-of-apocalypse is; or that he hadn't just been granted mortality. Nah. What was all that in the face of some good old fashioned flirting?

"I know what I want, and I suspect you do too." His tongue curled against his teeth; the confidence returning. She nodded. He released his fingers from hers and pulled her closer. Placing his hands on either side of her head, he inhaled deeply, savoring her intoxicating cocktail. She placed her hands on his forearms, loving the feel of his flesh heated by his desire for her.

"You're warm." She whispered.

"So are you, kitten." They closed their eyes slowly, but only at the last possible moment before their mouths fused together.

The heat and passion of it startled them both but somehow the kiss remained soft and hesitant; almost like the first time. Both refused to deepen it, for fear that it would spiral into something neither of them were ready for. They tasted each other gently, teasing one another and drawing out the pleasure; trembling with it.

Spike pulled back first, unaccustomed to having to come up for air. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

"You're so beautiful, Buffy." She shook her head.

"This could get...interesting." She opened her eyes and smiled into his.

"Yes, it could." He agreed, kissing the end of her nose. "But whatever happens, I want to do it right."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I want it all." He pulled back from her, taking her hands once again. "I want the romance, the flowers, the dates, everything. I am going to woo you." Buffy giggled and it was music to his ears.

"Do guys still do that? Woo?"

"This one does." He smiled, tilting his head again. "So how 'bout it, Slayer?"

"How about what?"

"You? Me?"

"Are you asking me out? On a date?" She grinned, feigning ignorance.

"Yes, Buffy, I am. Will you go out with me...tomorrow night?"

"Where to?"

"S' a surprise."

"What time?"

"Uh...7:00."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, William, I will go on a date with you." She flashed him the perfect curve of her California smile.

"Good." He smirked. "And the name is Spike." They both laughed and he hugged her to him.

"Er...not to spoil the mood, pet, but I'm bloody starving!"

TBC Chapter 4: Baby Steps


	4. Baby Steps

**Title**: Baby Steps - Chapter 4 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: R  
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Baby Steps

After spending much of the previous day on a binge to end all binges-

Seriously. The amount of food Spike put away when he went downstairs that afternoon should have had him running for the nearest bottle of Pepto. Instead he grinned like a maniac, enjoying a looted smorgasbord of Twinkies, Oodles of Noodles, Cheez Whiz and other 'health foods'.

- Spike gathered his few belongings from the basement of the Summers home, placed them in a knapsack and followed Giles back to the Astor. He felt, and isn't this precious, that he shouldn't "woo a young lady whilst living under the same roof with her." Buffy had pouted profusely, using the rising cost of hotel rooms as leverage to keep him there. Of course, when he and Giles reminded her that the innkeeper had skipped town and left the keys at the door, she had not a leg to stand on. She reluctantly let him move out.

On the way to the hotel, Giles attempted to corner Spike into an impromptu interview, but the former-vampire was distracted by the setting sun. It had been a number of years since he'd experienced one, and he suddenly felt a little sad that he hadn't thought to share such an important moment with the Slayer. Giles noticed his sudden melancholy.

"Spike?" He frowned and placed his arm on the blonde's shoulder, which took them both by suprise. Spike stopped and looked at him.

"Rupes?" Giles quickly removed his hand, as if it had been burned.

"Sorry. I, er...are you alright?" He glanced him over.

"Yeah, no worries." Spike turned back to the bronze horizon.

"Good...good." They resumed their walking for a few paces and then Giles stopped again. "It's just-" Spike stopped and turned to him.

"Yes?"

"You seem so...distant...all of a sudden." Spike's eyes narrowed and then he burst into a brilliant smile that caused Giles to take an involuntary step back.

"You're _worried_?" Spike tilted his head. "About _moi_?" He snorted. Giles cleared his throat and resumed his pace.

"Well, no...but you have been through quite a lot." He offered. "And I don't think Buffy would forgive me if anything...were to...happen to you."

"Ah...well-" Spike fell into step with the Watcher. "Feelin's mutual." He looked off thoughtfully at the quickly-disappearing sun. Giles glimpsed the former-vamp out of the corner of his eye and turned to face him.

"You...really care for her. Don't you." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah." Spike didn't look at him when he answered the rhetorical question. Giles stopped again and this time Spike turned to face him. The expression on his face said that he was expecting a lecture.

"Spike...what are your...intentions, towards Buffy?" Giles' paternal tone both amused and angered Spike.

"What do you bloody well think, Rupert?" He tried to calm his rising ire.

"Well, to be honest, I don't know what to think about any of this."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike's eyes hardened.

"Well, er, you're a vampire and then you're not. You claim to be in love with Buffy and then you attack her." Giles knew that Spike would bristle at that so he turned away ever-so-slightly. "You ran away, like a coward, and came back with a soul - one which we still don't know how o-or why you were cursed with." Spike held up his hand, but Giles continued. "You claim to be one of the good guys, but th-then you become a lackey for the First, killing innocents, you _say_ not of your own free will. You assume a role that Angel was evidently meant to play in this latest battle, and you offer up your...er...life." He turned back to the now seething Spike. "And now this." He opened his palms indicating the blonde across from him. "What sort of game is this, then?"

Spike's jaw dropped open.

Game? What...GAME? Was he bloody kidding?

"Watcher." His voice was trembling with rage, but he kept it barely above a whisper which put Giles' nerves on edge. "You. Are. A. Bleedin. Idiot!" He screamed the last word and Giles jumped. Spike turned around abruptly and ran his hands roughly through his hair. When he spun back around, Giles was in a defensive stance. He couldn't help it. He laughed.

He laughed so hard that tears were running down his cheeks.

"What's so bloody funny?" Giles' face began to get red. Spike was such a cheeky bastard.

"Y-y-you!" Spike slowly regained his composure and he straightened up to face the older man. "You are a right bloody piece of work. What was all of that back there, eh? 'Well Spike-" He affected Giles' uppercrust British accent perfectly, it being not so far from his original one. "You certainly are full of surprises, ol' chum."

"I most certainly did not call you-"

"No." Spike suddenly turned serious. "You didn't. What you _did_ do was put on quite a show for the Slayer and the others."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Giles turned to walk away, but Spike's arm stopped him. He stepped right up into his face and Giles straightened up to his full height. It didn't diminish Spike's presence one bit, which made him uneasy.

"You want to know what I'm 'up to'?" Giles nodded. "Fine." He stepped back, drew a deep breath and shook his head. "I can't bloody well believe this...fine."

"What I'm _up_ to is my neck. I am _ sick_ of jumping through hoops for you an the whelp. I'm done. Not doing it anymore. Did you not hear what Red said back there? I've been released! Bloody cleansed, you buggering sod!

"I-I don't...know...if I deserve all of this or not, but I am _not_ going to bloody well throw up my hands and walk away. I haven't been myself for over a 'undred bloody _years_. Do you have any-" He closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, Giles body language had softened some. It caused him to come down off his guard as well.

"You could never imagine...You want to know what sort of game this is? This is the game of life. _My_ life. I'm alive!" He inhaled audibly through his nose. "Giles." He stepped closer to him and his voice dropped to a near-whisper. "Rupert.

"I am alive and I am in love with your daughter...and she is, you know. Yours." Giles looked down, obviously uncomfortable. "Doesn' matter...all that stuff before...doesn' matter, she still loves you and looks at you like a father. God knows her real one's a good for nothin'..."

Giles smiled before he could stop himself. "Yeah, he is." They both chuckled lightly. "You still say you're in love with her?" Spike's smile faded quickly and he looked the Watcher in the eye.

"You tell me." They studied each other for long minutes.

"I believe you are." Spike swallowed hard and fought the tears that threatened. He didn't harbor the delusion that he and Giles would ever be close, but he didn't want to put Buffy in another scenario where she would have to choose. He knew, without a doubt, that she would choose him; and that was something he didn't wish on anyone that loved her, that kind of rejection.

"I am. And...I think she could love me too. I just want the chance to make her happy, y'know?" Giles nodded. Slowly, they began to walk again. "By the way, I wasn't cursed with the soul."

"Pardon?" Giles stopped and turned to him confused.

"I said I wasn't cursed with it." Spike then stopped and turned back to the perplexed Watcher. "I'm not like the Poof."

"I-I don't understand, then how-"

"I asked for it. Went to Africa. Met up with a nasty bloke there. Demon. Did some trials and abracadabra: shiny new soul."

Giles took a few moments to scrape his jaw off the asphalt and then he stuttered out a few incomprehensible words. He cleared his throat and had more success on his second attempt.

"Why...er...would you do such a thing?" At the question, Spike's eyebrows rose and he tilted his head.

"You mean...you haven't a clue in that Watcher brain of yours?" He waited, watching the wheels turn. The astonished expression that appeared on the other man's face made him wish he had a camera handy.

"You did it...f-for _her_?" His eyes went wide and a small smile crept onto his lips as he removed his glasses and peered at the man before him with new eyes. "Oh. My. Lord. Spike! That's-" His voice rose with his rising excitement. "That's...well, it's incredible. Does Buffy know?"

"Yeah, she's known since the beginning."

"Well no bloody wonder!" ...'she kept defending you,' was the unfinished thought.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm- truly speechless, Spike. I had...no idea. None."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Oh, I should say so! There's nothing in the history of your kind that suggests that such a thing has even been attempted, much less done!"

"I meant-"

"Oh..." Giles replaced his glasses and studied the ground for a moment. "Well..."

"If she had told you, you wouldn't have bloody believed her, and you know it."

"No, Spike, I would have believed...that _she_ believed it, you're absolutely right." Giles tightened his lips and shook his head. Spike was right, he wouldn't have believed it if he'd known before. He was a little disgusted with himself.

"S'alright, Watcher. Kinda flies in the face of everything you knew and all." Spike smiled a little. Giles inhaled deeply and looked at the former-demon with something akin to awe.

"She's right." He tilted his head at the blonde, who stared back confused. "You are bloody amazing." Spike smiled brightly then and laughed softly, as did Giles. They fell into step once more, laughing at their own prejudices and stupidity.

"So...what's this I hear about a date?"

"Oh, well...I asked her out right proper. I'm taking her somewhere special...and romantic."

"Er, not to burst your bubble, er, Spike, but there isn't much to do in a deserted town."

"Oh, I'll think of something." Spike said absentmindedly. Giles arched an eyebrow as imagnings of various possibilities danced through his head.

"I-i'm sure I'd rather not know." He grinned.

"Hey now! I'll have you know I plan to be a perfect gentleman. It'll be romantic but all above board." Giles laughed at the idea of Spike's injured pride. Things were certainly odd at the moment, what with him being nearly human.

"Well, if you need anything...help and such..." Spike stopped one last time, stunned. Giles kept walking, knowing the blonde was behind him...and why. He refused to stop and commence the male-bonding that seemed to be on the verge of breaking out. Mortal or not, tolerating Spike was hard enough. Coming to like him was a task of gargantuan proportions: he needed to take baby steps.

Realizing he wasn't going to stop for him, Spike jogged up and fell into step once more. He couldn't help the boyish grin that was plastered on his face: approval of the father. 'Not bad, Spike my boy,' he thought to himself. 'Not bad.'

TBC Chapter 5: Is This Tree Taken?


	5. Is This Tree Taken?

**Title:** Is This Tree Taken? - Chapter 5 of Maybe When...  
**Author:** Xionin  
**Rating:** R (soon)  
**Pairing:** Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback:** Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer:** ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Distribution:** Anywhere, just let me know.  
**Summary:** This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike   
from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all   
over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series   
finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into   
the 'what ifs'. 

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Is This Tree Taken?

Spike had purposely left the heavy hotel-room curtains open so that the morning sun would greet him.  
So when he sat up at 7:15 AM, muttering curses under his breath against the idiot who had turned on the lights, it took a moment to realize exactly who the 'idiot' was.

A slow smile spread across his lips as he watched tiny particles twirl in the shafts of golden light streaming across the bed. He reached out shaky fingers towards them, disturbing the air that made the dust dance, and watched the sun illuminate his thin fingers. He tilted his head as his mouth fell open and he didn't even notice the tear gently falling down his cheek as he stared in wonder.

He was touching sunlight.  
Buffy should see this!

After a few moments, he glanced at the clock.

"S' early." He said aloud. "But I have to share this with her."

The phone rang three times before a groggy voice answered.

"This" she mumbled. "-had _better_ be about another apocalypse."

"Mornin' to you too, luv." Spike's smile showed in his voice. Buffy's eyes popped open.

"Spike?" She glanced at the clock. 7:18 flashed in bright red letters. "Oh God! I'm so sorry!" Buffy sat straight up in her bed. Spike frowned into the phone.

"Uhm, for what, pet?"

"I'm late for our date!" She threw the covers off and jumped out of bed, sending the base of the phone crashing to the floor. "Oops, sorry. You still there?"

"YeahBuffy, luv, calm down. You've got twelve hours." He couldn't help but chuckle. She was just so cute, even over the phone. Buffy looked around, blinking the sleep from her eyes, and then it clicked in her head that it was still morning. She stopped her frantic movement and frowned.

"It'sin the morning?" Spike nodded, knowing she couldn't see him. "Then why are you calling me?" Her eyes went wide. "Is something wrong? Are you alright?" Thoughts of Spike in danger suddenly raced through her mind.

What if he woke up a vampire again?  
What if he was hurt or he and Giles had fought and  
Giles had tried to kill him again?  
What had she been thinking letting him out of her sight?

As if hearing her thoughts, Spike smiled to himself. "I'm fine, kitten, I just-"  
He suddenly felt awkward. Why had he called her? Because he wanted to share this moment with her. It feltnot having her there for this. Just as it had felt wrong last evening when she wasn't there at sunset.

He wanted to share all of this with her. _Everything_.  
With her.

Always.

Oh God, and he could! He actually could, if she

"You just what?"

"I sun's up." He didn't know what else to say. How much should he say?  
That he wanted to share every facet of his new life with her?  
Did she know how he still felt? How he loved her, even after everything?  
The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her away. Again.

Coming on too strong could certainly do that. He'd learned that lesson once before and the hard way.

Buffy drew back her curtain a bit and peeked outside. She smiled, imagining the look on his face as he saw his first sunrise in

"How long has it been?" She asked softly, gazing out of the window. Spike blinked for a moment and smiled. She knew him so very well.

"Dunno." He climbed out of bed and walked over to the window. He inhaled slowly when he felt the warmth on his face, his arms, and his chest. He could smell it. Taste it. He looked out the window at this strange, new world open before him.

A large tree stood to one side; it's leaves in the full bloom of summer. He'd known before that leaves were green, but the color infused in these was sovibrant. So alive. Everything: the dandelions poking through the unkempt sidewalks, the yellow newspaper box on the corner, the blue sky and white, cottony clouds; it was all so full of color. Full of life!

"Too long." He whispered. She understood perfectly and closed her eyes to imagine his face as he saw all of this for the first time in forever.

"I wish I was there with you." She spoke before she thought. Her heart began to race as she thought of the implications of those words.

She knew that there was somethingbetween them. Friendship. Desire. Maybe even love.

Love?

Did he still love her, the way he did before?  
And how did she feel about him, exactly, especially now.  
There were no barriers, no demons, onlylife.

She smiled.

"Me too, luv." His voice was hushed, tentative. He smiled at her confession, his eyes closing.  
She wanted the same thing there, at least. He decided to push it a little further.  
"I miss you."

And there she had her answer in a simple phrase.

His love for her was still there, still strong and hers for the taking.  
So how should she respond? Was there any reason to hold back?  
To not feel what she knew she was feeling?  
To deny it any longer?

She was falling in love with him.

She had been for months, perhaps longer.  
The last few days before the battle, she'd been tested in more ways than one.  
Angel stopping by: now that was a doozy.

But she'd sent him away, and why?  
To protect him? Or to choose someone else?  
And she had, hadn't she? Angel was no longer her champion.  
Spike was.

And still is.

"I miss you too." She closed her eyes again, taking a shuddering breath. Her body shivered from the connection they shared, even when they were apart. The floodgates were opening and she had no desire to close them.

Spike stared at the phone a moment and a frown creased his brow. Oh God. She missed him.  
Life couldn't get any better. 'But oh it sure as hell could!' he thought to himself.

He was a new man!

"Twelve hours, huh?" She said wistfully, twirling the cord of the phone in her fingers. Spike glanced back at the clock.

"Eh, more like eleven, luv." He clenched his jaw. Eleven hours!

Eleven hours before his golden goddess allowed him to make the first move.  
To woo her, win her, enchant her and make her his. Forever?

"Forever." He voiced the thought without realizing it.

"Hmmm?" Buffy frowned in confusion.

"Uhhh" he mentally kicked himself. "Seemsforever, pet." Not a bad cover story.  
"Eleven hours seems like a long time, is all."

She sighed and began grinning like a schoolgirl.

"Impatient much?" She laughed lightly and he couldn't help but join her.

"I s'pose. Can you blame me? Been waitin a long time, luv."

"For what?"

"You."

"Oh" she said, thinking 'Not much longer.' She chewed her lower lip and Spike could almost see her doing it through the phone. He smiled, knowing that he'd made her blush with his honesty. He smiled even more when he realized he was blushing too.

"Sorry to wake you, sweetness." He purred into the phone and her knees turned to goo. How did he do that? A voice like that should be illegal. Must be in some states.

"Oh that's alright." She whispered back. "I'll just lie in bed for a while longer." She stretched audibly, like a cat and slipped back into the covers, moaning at the feel of the cool sheets against her skin. She knew that drove him crazy and grinned imagining what he must look like - lustrated.

He had to stop the groan that formed in the back of his throat. What a tease!  
He loved it. Loved her.

"You do that, luv." He resisted the urge to run over there, scoop her up, and ravage her. That would come later. But not too much later. "I have someto arrange." That got her attention.

"About this date."

"Uh huh?" He grinned wickedly to himself.

"Where are we going?"

"I told you it was a surprise, didn't I?"

"Yeah huh."

"So? It _would_ kinda defeat the purpose if I told you about it, now wouldn' it?"

"I guess," she pouted.

"Right. So you rest those gorgeous green eyes of yours and I'll see you a bit later."

Gorgeous? He thought her eyes were gorgeous? She smiled brightly.  
'OK, I'm reverting to high school here. Get a grip, Buffy!'  
She chided herself, but the smile didn't go anywhere.

"Ok, I guess."

"That's a good girl. Nighty night, luv. Sweet dreams."

"G'night baby." She hung up the phone before he could respond.  
Did she just call him 'baby'?

---------

How was he expected to sleep on such a glorious morning?

'Sing little birdies!'

'Oh look at the little squirrels, how cute.'

He stopped walking down the deserted sidewalk and frowned.

"If livin' an' breathin's gonna turn you into a big, sodding wanker, you were better off dead."

He marched on, determinedly, trying not to stop and smell the roses.

No, really.

Walking through the campus of UC Sunnydale, he came upon the most incredible rose garden he'd ever seen. Of course, it probably had a lot to do with the bright, nourishing sunshine falling all over the hungry little buds, but it didn't matter.

He plucked one pale, pink flower and twirled it in his fingers.

"These could come in handy."

Walking on, he found what he had been looking for.

UC Sunnydale, although a fairly new school, had a number of old trees. One in particular was an enormous Oak that stood in the middle of the quad. Probably 200 years old, its massive branches spread out proudly, shading the very center of the plot from the harsh noonday sun.

During the semester, it was a favorite meeting place for students during the day and predators during the night. Today, it was to serve a different purpose. Spike was planning a romantic liaison and this was the perfect spot.

He set down the bag of goodies he'dprocured during the morning.  
[What would he do when the shop owners all came back and insisted on collecting money for their goods?]

Plopping down on the lush grass, he began to take inventory:

Pillar candles - check  
Soft blanket - check  
Bottle of French red - check  
Crystal goblets - check  
CD player - check  
Batteries - oops, would have to go back for those.  
Box of chocolates - check  
Jar of Nutella - check

He pulled out a piece of poster board and a Sharpie and wrote in huge letters:  
This tree is reserved for today. Touch anything here and die a slow and painful death.

Not subtle, but it got the point across. He propped the warning sign up against the tree and admired his handiwork. Glancing up at the clock tower, he took note of the time.

12:45

Hours and hours to go, yet. He sighed. How would he ever survive?  
It wouldn't take him very long to shower and get dressed. And then what?

Shit.

What was he going to wear? He couldn't go in the raggedy old black t-shirt and jeans she'd always seen him in. And knowing her, she'd looking stunning and he'd look like a tired old sod.

He could go 'shopping' but for what? He needed help.

He needed Dawn.

----------------

OK, going to Revello Drive without running up to see her wouldn't be as difficult as the trials in Africa, but damned near close. Still, he was determined not to see Buffy until he came back to pick her up for their date. All he wanted to do was find Dawn and get her to take him shopping.

"Ugh." He groaned, trying to think of something he wouldn't do to please the Slayer. Shopping with a teenage girl.

He began to extend his senses to find out where Buffy was when he realized he didn't have them anymore.

"No more vamp." Right. "Time to getconventional then."

He pulled out the cell phone Buffy had given him for emergencies a while back. This was an emergency, wasn't it?

"O' course."

He heard the phone ring inside the house as he hid behind his other favorite tree.  
Watching the window he saw Buffy going for the phone.

"Bugger!"

He hung up and watched as she tried to talk to the phantom on the other end and then put the receiver down in disgust.

"This tree taken?"

He jumped at the sound of the voice behind. He turned around only to find an amused Willow grinning at him.

"I don't think you need to stalk her anymore, Spike." 

He smirked. "Wasn't."

"Then what are you doing back in your old spot?" She teased. "By the way, sunlight looks good on ya."

He smiled. "Thanks, Red. No, I was trying to call Dawn. I need her help with somethin', but Buffy picked up the phone."

"Oh, well, I don't think Dawnie's home?" He looked dejected. "Anything I can help with?"

Spike's melancholy brightened. "Hey, you're a girl!"

"Last time I checked." Willow laughed.

"No, I mean I need help. Shopping. Girls shop."

"Yes, we do." She said with mock-seriousness.

"I don't know what to wear tonight."

"Oh! The big date!" She smiled and then chuckled.

"What's funny?"

"Oh, sorry, I just never pictured you as the 'I don't have a _thing_ to wear' type."

"Ah, well, I don't. And I want it to bespecial. For Buffy."

"Awww, aren't you sweet?" She smiled and patted him on the arm. "Almost makes me jealous." He arched an eyebrow. "I said _almost_. Okay, let's go."

"You'll do it?" He was beaming and it gave Willow's heart a happy.

"Sure, yeah! It'll be fun playing dress up. I bet you clean up nicely."

"Thanks Red."

"Besides, I have a feeling about you two." They began walking away from the house.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She said, smiling to herself.

TBC Chapter 6: Dance With Me  



	6. Dance With Me

**Title**: Dance With Me - Chapter 6 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: R   
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Dance With Me

"Well," Spike stepped out of the bathroom in his suite at the Sunnydale Astor  
[did you really think he'd take a regular room? For free?] with an aire of bravado. "How do I look?"

Dawn and Willow gasped appropriately and lavished flattery on him as expected. They didn't have to fake it, though.  
The truth was he looked...well...fucking unbelievably, drop-dead, mouth-wateringly gorgeous. Both girls suddenly hated Buffy.

Which is saying something in Willow's case, now isn't it?

"Wow...Spike, if you weren't, like, practically my big brother I'd say you were drool-worthy." Dawn smiled as she stood up from the pinstriped, executive sofa. She walked a slow circle around him, taking a longer moment in the back as her face went red, and folded her arms as she stood in front of him once more. "Not bad at all."

Spike smiled. "Thanks, Nib. Red?"

Willow just stared. Had guys always looked this good? Couldn've.  
She felt a familiar tingling in her lower abdomen and mentally slapped herself.

"Damn," she mumbled. Her face flushed and she jumped up, doing her best to look nonplussed. "You...l-look good, Spike. Good."

OK so she was gay, not blind, right?

"Why don't you look for yourself?" Dawn guided him over to the floor-length mirror. All day, when he was on his shopping spree with Willow and later Dawn, he kept forgetting that he _could_ actually use mirrors now. 

He moved in front of it, with his eyes closed, and braced himself for the horror that could result from having two birds pick your wardrobe and do your hair. When he opened his eyes, what he saw...amazed him.

He didn't look too bad.

In fact...

"Wow, I'd say you two ladies 'ave got yourselves a new career. This isn't half-bad." He smiled and looked up as his face reflected back at him.

Let's start with the shirt, shall we? It was blue. But not just any blue: Cornflower Blue. Like his eyes. It was a silk knit that clung to his body as if its very life depended upon it. The short sleeves ended right in the center of his biceps. Actually, the tee accentuated every ripple and curve of his toned physique. When he moved, the shirt moved like liquid; like a second skin. And if it looked good, it felt even better. 

On his chest rested a silver Celtic cross that Willow had given him as a gift. She'd seen him eyeing it in one of the shops they went to, and she couldn't help but tear up a little at the look on his face when she'd handed it to him later on.

Moving down, he wore black pants. Not jeans, for once, but pants. A pair of black dress Chinos they'd picked up from Banana Republic or some such store. They were crisp, clean and fit him, well, rather nicely.

Let's just leave it at that...for now.

At Dawn's insistence, he abandoned his beloved black Docs for a shiny new pair of three-eye Oxfords.  
Black, of course. Still Doc Martens too.

Some things shouldn't be tampered with. His hair was not one of those things and had been the first thing his two young friends had concentrated on.

Rule #1 - No gel. He'd gone down kicking and screaming on that one. But looking at the man in the mirror before him, he had to admit. It was...OK. Dawn had said that Buffy liked his hair a little curly. And it was only a little curly, not the 'fro that it was capable of being. A little curly was fine.

But who was he kidding? If Dawn had said that Buffy loved bald men, he would've taken to a razor straight away!

Rule #2 - No fussing with it. Leave it messy. _That _one would take some concentration, but he'd give it the ol' college try.

Spike turned this way and that in the mirror for what seemed like forever to his two helpers. After 10 minutes or so of coddling him and telling him that 'no, the blue doesn't make you look like a poofter' [whatever that is] and 'yes, Buffy will love it,' they'd grown bored and wanted to get out of there. They had a good excuse, actually. Buffy had called and said _she_ needed help picking out something to wear.

Great. Only 4:30. That gives them at least two hours of watch-Buffy-try-on-every-outfit-she-owns-and-hate-every-one-of-them time.  
Better get started, ladies.

"Well, Spikey, if you're all set..." Willow moved to pick up her bag.

"Yeah," Dawn moved with her. "We promised Buffy we'd help her get ready too." Spike spun around to meet them.

"You...uh...won't say anything to her...about today, will you?" He bit his lip nervously, but the girls smiled.

"No, Spike, we won't spill the beans." Willow patted him on the shoulder. Damn that shirt felt good! She moved her hand away and fanned herself, surreptitiously.

"I can't believe you did all of that in one morning, Spike. How did you find all of those things?" Dawn shook her head in amazement.

"I want this to be...perfect." He shrugged.

"I think it will be." Willow said softly. "C'mon Dawnie, let's go calm the nervous Slayer."

"She's nervous?" Spike wondered. Dawn rolled her eyes as she and Willow headed out the door.

"Geez, Spike. What do you think?" He could hear them laughing as the pair walked down the hall.

-------

"Why the hell am I nervous?"

"Because..." Dawn huffed as she twisted her sister's hair into a French braid. "Your _dream_ date will be here in thirty minutes and you're no closer to being ready than you were an hour ago."

"He is _not_ my dream date," Buffy muttered. Willow, who was standing in the closet looking for buried treasure that Buffy insisted was in there somewhere disguised as the 'perfect outfit', met Dawn's amused expression at the bit of nonsense that just came out of Buffy's mouth.

"Uh...right, Buff. Sure." Willow turned and pretended to search more, hiding her laughter in the hanging clothes.

"Ouch!" Buffy yanked herself away from Dawn's vice grip on her braid.

"Ooo, sorry!" Dawn grimaced. "You really expect us to believe that this isn't a big deal? You and Spike going out on a real date?"

Buffy smiled despite herself. "Well...yeah...I guess it is...but I don't want to put too much importance on it. I mean...it's just a date."

"Oh yeah," Willow's muffled voice sounded. "Uh huh, just like Spike's 'just a guy' and you're 'just a girl." She emerged from the rack with a red halter top and held it before the Summers sisters. Both of them scrunched up their noses. It got thrown into the 'Not' pile.

"OK, so we're not...normal...but I don't want to turn this - tonight - into anything more than it is. It's...just a date." Buffy voiced the argument very convincingly, but it wasn't working on her and it wasn't working on her audience. They all knew better.

"Alright, Buffy, live happily ever after in the land of Denial if you like, but we all know that when the doorbell rings in-" Dawn looked at the clock. "-twenty-three minutes, both of you will go all googly-eyed and nervous, biting your lips and stammering like little kids." Buffy reached back a lightly slapped Dawn on the arm, trying not to smile.

"C'mon, you know she's right." Willow said. "It's actually kinda sad-"

"Willow!" Buffy giggled.

"Well it is, the way you two are." She brought out a black sleeveless v-neck and held it up. Dawn's eyes went wide as she nodded vigorously.

"I think you should go for that one, Buff." The older sister didn't look convinced. Dawn finished the braid and put a clip on the end to hold it in. She then took the shirt from Willow and held it up to herself, admiring her reflection in the mirror. Plots of stealing...er..._borrowing_ it were dancing through her head. "It's black. He likes you in black."

"He likes her in anything," Willow chimed in. Buffy gave her a mock-glare.

"True," Dawn continued. "Besides, it's low-cut enough to let him know you're interested, but not enough to look, you know, slutty." Buffy jumped out of the chair, spilling a rainbow of clothes to the floor.

"Alright, that's it. I'll wear the damn top if you two just stop it." She yanked the shirt from her sibling's hands and tossed it on the bed. Dawn and Willow laughed as Buffy ushered them both to the door and out into the hall. "Call me when he gets here." Willow nodded and went downstairs.

"Yes sir!" Buffy closed the door on Dawn's smirking mock-salute. She could hear her giggles move away as she took a deep breath and moved in front of the mirror.

"OK, Buffy Anne Summers," she breathed. "You can do this. You've done it before. Plenty o-of times. Yup. Plenty of dates." She twisted her head left and right, trying to decide 'yay' or 'nay' on the braid. "Nay."

She quickly removed the clip and shook out her hair. She smiled at the soft ripples that had formed from the short confinement.

"Hmmm...look at that." The skirt she pulled from the pile on the floor was new...ish. She'd had it a while, but the opportunity to wear it hadn't arisen until now.

It was Spanish-style...flamenco, if she remembered the clerk's words at the store. Black with three tiers of ruffles, it hugged her small curves at the top and flared out at the bottom giving her an exotic look. The off-side slit went pretty high and showed off a considerable amount of leg. She fastened the three buttons at the waist and smoothed the fabric over her abdomen. Slipping the v-neck over her head, she stood and admired her reflection.

Dawn had been right, actually, the top worked nicely. Buffy tried not to think about Dawn's dressing-for-dates techniques as she laced up the strappy black sandals. The peach of her nail polish on her fingers and toes glistened. She smiled thinking how only Spike would notice that it matched her lip gloss.

He was always so...observant.

A pair of fluid, gold earrings completed the ensemble, gracefully hanging just above her tanned shoulders. For a second, she wondered where she'd gotten a tan until she remember the massive amounts of sunlight in the cavern.

She had to close her eyes and sit on the edge of the bed. Taking a deep and cleansing breath, she looked directly across at the mirror. A golden-haired, green-eyed beauty stared back at her and she wondered where the girl had been hiding.

"Time to live again," she whispered to her reflection who smiled back.

---------

When the doorbell rang, Buffy went into panic mode.

"Oh. My. God. What am I wearing? I look like an L.A. hooker!"

"Geez, Buffy, calm the fuck down!" Willow steered her friend away from the closet. If Buffy went in there again, she was afraid the date would start twenty-four hours late. "You look gorgeous, Buffy. Stop it."

"Really? Okay...okay." She sat down on the bed.

"Wait three minutes, then come down." Willow patted her friend's leg and closed the door behind her. Left alone to her own devices, the Slayer couldn't leave well enough alone. She removed and re-applied her lip gloss three times before her three minutes were up. It started when she heard the low rumble of Spike's voice drift up the stairs.

"_God_, Buffy...you coward...breathe!" She ordered herself to calm down. "It's just a fucking date." She heard him laugh and her spine melted away. Just a date. Uh huh.

---------

"If it makes you feel any better," Dawn offered. "She's just as nervous as you are." She shook her head. "You guys ae just too funny."

"Glad we could amuse you, niblet." Willow made her way down the steps and smiled when she saw the huge bouquet of white and pink roses Spike was holding.

"Spike."

"Red." He winked at her.

"She'll be right down." She smiled mischievously, which made him quirk an eyebrow. He was about to ask her what she meant went his attention was drawn to the stairs.

Spike had never feinted before, but he was pretty sure he could pull it off right then and there. What he saw took his breath away.

Buffy descended slowly, gracefully actually, which was amazing since she'd lost all control over her lower body the second she'd seen him at the bottom.

He looked...

She looked...

"Amazing."

"Stunning."

They stood, face to face, with their mouths slightly open. Then they smiled, simultaneously. Dawn and Willow smiled too as they backed away from the pair. They didn't leave, they just...moved to a respectable distance. No way in hell were they gonna miss this.

"Buffy...you look...I...I don't have words, luv." Spike's eyes watered up as he gazed at the beautiful creature before him. She smiled so warmly that he giggled.

Yep. Giggled.

Of course he tried to cover by clearing his throat and it worked on Buffy, but not on the other two women. They stifled their laughter. It was just too cute, the sight of this former Master vampire giggling in front of the girl of his dreams. Really priceless.

For her part, Buffy fared much better. Smiling a lot meant she didn't actually have to _say_ anything. See she'd lost all ability to form coherent thought as she stood in front of him.

His eyes roamed openly over her form, taking in every luscious curve, and she could see the desire rolling around inside of him. Her entire body blushed. She stepped back and turned around in a slow circle, gaining a little confidence after seeing his reaction to her.

Spike was holding his breath which would account for some, but not all, of the lightheadedness. She stopped when she faced him again and his lips parted to say something, but when she looked into his eyes, they clouded over with a veil of lust and utter adoration that she'd never seen before; not even from him.

It thrilled her to no end.

She felt the electricity travel from her womb to her nipples, hardening them under the thin silk of the top she wore. It echoed to her thighs as she felt a familiar wetness between them.

Already?

What a night it was going to be.

Spike, coming back to his senses, offered her the roses. She hadn't even noticed them, but she _did_ notice the way his body moved beneath the shirt that clung to him and he handed them to her. She took the flowers and thanked him breathelessly. Breathing was an issue for both of them.

Willow arched her eyebrow. This was _way_ too much sexual subtext for a seventeen year old.

"Let Dawn and I take those for you, Buffy." She took the roses from the blonde and handed them to Dawn, who glared with an 'I'm not ready to leave this scene yet' look on her face. Willow cocked her head which meant nothing less than 'oh yes you are, young lady.'

Dawn really hated Willow sometimes.

She fisted the flowers and stalked off to the kitchen. Willow turned back to the pair to wish them a good time, but she realized that they wouldn't have heard her, they were so lost in each other's eyes. Buffy's breathing was shallow, as was Spike's. Willow smiled to herself and slipped away.

"So..." Buffy licked her lips. Spike's eyes followed the movement of her little pink tongue and he had to swallow. Hard.

"So..."

"Where are...we going, tonight?" She looked up at him from under smoky lashes.

"Somewhere where you can...dance with me." His voice had taken on that low timbre she remembered from their _time_ together.  
This was the voice that sometimes moved her mountains and made her fortress crumble. This was the voice, although she'd never told him as much, that was her undoing time and time again. Against her will this voice had commanded her. Tamed her. Owned her.

Maybe he was aware.

"I, uh, hope...I hope you like what I have planned."

Or maybe he wasn't.

"I'm sure it will be lovely."

Her eyes darted to his lips when she said the last word. Spike growled, which surprised him. He'd always thought it was the demon that did that. Maybe it was just the woman before him that brought it out.

He was warm, no, _hot_. She was doing things to this body, by just standing there, that he'd never experienced before. He reached up a hand and brushed a stray strand of hair off her shoulder. She instinctively stepped into him and his hand fell to her waist.

"Hello there," she whispered. He smiled that feral smile she doubted he even new he was capable of. So many facial expressions perfected without the aid of a mirror.

"Hello, kitten." His voice was a whisper as he lowered his head to hers. Their lips brushed, silk against silk, and she tilted her head. Their eyes were open, staring. Smiling. Spike brought his other hand up and through her hair, lifting it off her shoulder as he pulled back a bit.

"You are _so_ delicious, baby." The deep baritone of his voice melted over her skin like warm caramel and she had to close her eyes. A shiver ran down her spine. This was so intense.

"Do you know what you do to me?" He breathed into her hair as he let it fall down her back. Nuzzling his face into her neck, he was exerting an enormous amount of control on his libido.

He wanted her. Then. There. It took everything within him not to pick her up and march up the stairs to her room. And she felt it. She knew it and it made her bold.

"Yes, I do." She smiled when he pulled back to meet her eyes. "But what I want to know is..." she slid her naked arms around his neck, the feel of his firm body beneath the silk of the shirt giving her goosebumps. "-what you're going to do...to me." She looked, unabashedly, into his eyes and laughed inwardly at his surprise. She had never been this bold before. But, then again, nothing had ever felt so...right. So natural.

He looked deep into the emerald sea of her eyes for one, long moment before her cupped the back of her head and brought his mouth to hers. Capturing his bottom lip...finally...Buffy ran her tongue lightly along it causing him to groan.

God, if the date _started_ like this, he could die just _thinking_ of how it was going to end and be a happy man.

He opened his mouth a little and caught her tongue with his own, circling it lightly. The kiss grew organically in its intensity, both of them floating on the passion that threatened to consume them. Buffy tightened her embrace on Spike as he brought his hands to her back, pressing her closer. He could feel her bare skin beneath the flimsy fabric of her shirt and it only exicted him more. He slid his palms slowly down the curve of her ass and pulled her even more into his body. She felt his growing arousal through the smooth fabric of his pants. It was...a hot spot, now.

Buffy moaned in his mouth and the kiss became more and more demanding. She fisted her fingers into his hair as they devoured one another. She was about ready to climb him like a tree when he brought one hand forward and brushed the side of her breast.

"Oh!" She broke away and they stared at each other breathing heavily, if at all.

Spike...adjusted...himself and ran a hand through his hair.

"Luv...we better be on our way or we'll never get there." He was blinking rapidly and a layer of perspiration formed on his forehead.

"Yes." She cleared her throat, straightening out her clothes. "Right...I'm ready."

Spike smirked at her which made her raise her eyebrows. She already knew what he was going to say.

"Oh, I know you are."

He slipped his hand into hers after he opened the door for her and they headed out into the evening.

TBC Chapter 7: Softer 


	7. Softer

**Title**: Softer - Chapter 7 of Maybe When...  
**Author**: Xionin  
**Rating**: Strong R   
**Pairing**: Buffy/Spike.  
**Feedback**: Pretty please?  
**Disclaimer**: ME dropped the ball. I picked it up.  
**Summary**: This a medium series based on Buffy's line to Spike from 'End of Days'. She begins to say 'maybe when [this is all over,] but Spike interrupts her. It's an AU approach to the series finale [because you know how much I loved that] and then moves into the 'what ifs'.

And oh yeah, it's a total piece of fluff. Enjoy!

Softer

"Mmmmmmmm..." Buffy moaned. "Oh...god!"

Spike smirked knowingly.

He grabbed another Morello cherry, dipped it into the warming Nutella and brought it to her mouth. He moved in slow motion, so as not to miss a single stage of her anticipation. Three times he had fed her this way and each time she'd gone through the same routine.

Moisten her lips with that sweet, little tongue.  
Open her mouth slightly as her hungry eyes followed the movements of his approach.  
Sigh a little as the confection neared her lips.  
Sweep out her tongue to catch it as he gave it to her.  
Close her eyes and moan at the first taste.  
Slowly chew while alternately moaning or exclaiming 'oh god' in that husky voice she reserves only for him.  
Swallow.  
Inhale slowly, eyes still closed.  
Smile, slow and satisfied.  
Lick her bottom lip and bite it.  
Open her incredible eyes and look at him like...

That.

Just like she was looking at him right then, like he was the next chocolate-dipped cherry.

Oh God.  
He. Is. Going. To. Explode.

"Spike?" Buffy noticed his rapid breathing and scrunched her brow. "You ok hon?" She tilted her head in mock concern, stifling a grin. He only nodded vigirously, staring at her lips. "Something you...want? Need?"

"Oh bloody hell, woman!" He grabbed her face and plundered her mouth. The sweet taste of the confections and her own uniqueness was intoxicating. He released her, breathing heavily. She looked stunned.

"Wow."

"Sorry, pet. I...you...I need to stand up for a bit." He rose so quickly, Buffy had to catch the bowl of cherries to keep them from spilling. She smiled in self-satisfaction. Spike leaned his hands against the tree, head hanging down. He counted to ten and then looked at her from under his arm. "You did that on purpose." He narrowed his eyes and smiled. Buffy feigned innocence.

"Did what, baby?" she said, licking a smudge of Nutella from her finger tip and glancing up with big, doe eyes. He laughed, then and moved, suddenly, pulling her up by her arms. His hands were hot with his mortal blood, but the power that she knew was Spike was still there. It was an exciting combination.

"Buffy..." his breathing was ragged, full of emotion and desire. She smiled at him then.

"I love the way you say my name."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She wrapped her arms around his neck and gazed up at him. "You say it like you mean it." He smiled, but he was confused.

"Care to enlighten me?" He brought his arms around her and locked them in place, supporting most of her weight. She looked around a bit for words and then back into his amazing blue eyes.

"You say it...like it means everything to you. Like _I_...mean everything." Spike brought a hand up and brushed the hair away from her forehead, suddenly serious.

"You do, Buffy. Don't you know that?" She swallowed hard and nodded. Tears began to well up in her again and Spike frowned, placing his lips against her hair.

"Tut tut, luv, none o' that now. Tonight's about smiling and laughing and...other things."

"I'm sorry, it's just...this is all...tonight is so beautiful, Spike." She stepped back from him and looked around. "All of this is so incredible! You. You are incredible."

----------

They had walked from Revello Drive hand in hand, both trying to calm their raging desire to run back to the house and skip to the end of their date. Buffy had help, though. She was curious.

What in the world could they do in Sunnydale? Just about everything was closed, deserted or looted. She thought maybe they were going back to his hotel room; a thought that she didn't mind at all. She had no doubt that they would make love tonight for the first time. She wanted that for them. They deserved it, after everything they'd been through together and apart; everything they'd suffered and sacrificed.

And she wanted to give herself to him completely; something she'd never done before.

Yesterday when he'd come out of that deep sleep, they had resolved so many things in a few simple words; her words. Her final apology.  
And later they had shared their first, real, loving kiss.

Tonight they were to share their first real date.

Things were moving fast, but considering their history, it wasn't really fast at all. She knew this man. All of his faults, his quirks, his strange and fantastic mind. And he knew her...probably better than she knew herself.

Wandering through the quiet streets, they hadn't talked much. And when they did, it was in hushed tones. Everything seemed otherwordly. The setting sun, which he'd finally gotten to share with her, cast a bronze glow on everything. Buffy had watched Spike's face intently as he described his view to her; how everything looked strange and unfamiliar in this new light.

His long, indulgent lashes had swept his cheeks with emphasis, teaching her important lessons. His full lower lip had hypnotized her with its unwitting sensuality. His eyes had danced and Buffy wanted to know the rhythm. She'd held his hand tightly and didn't even notice where they were going until they'd gotten there.

'There' was the Oak tree...transformed. There they'd stopped.

Tiny votive lanterns hung low from the leafless bottom branches, each with a lit white candle. There must have been dozens of them. The little flames swayed to and fro in the slight breeze. On the ground lay a crimson red blanket covered with the trappings of a picnic: plates, glasses, a basket filled with what looked like fruit and cheeses. A bottle of wine stood at the ready, next to it were crystal glasses trapping the reflected light from the candles.

Music was coming from somewhere that Buffy couldn't see. Behind the tree, perhaps. It wasn't something that she was familiar with, but it was beautiful and perfect; A string quartet playing some romantic piece.

Taking in the scene before her, Buffy had let go of Spike's hand and he watched her, gnawing on his lip while he waited for her reaction, but she had been silent. Buffy had taken a few steps ahead of him.

More of those glorious roses lay scattered on the ground at the perimeter of the blanket with a path of petals leading to where they stood.  
The path ended at the blanket which was surrounded by chunky, pillar candles...also white...which caused the whole area to glow.

Buffy had lost her breath. She'd lost her voice. She'd lost her control on the tears that fell in joyous droplets from her shining eyes. Her back was to Spike and he'd been paralysed with fear. He'd hoped that she wouldn't think it was too silly and simple. He'd hoped that she would understand what he was trying to say with all of this. But she just stood there with her back to him and he'd waited for an excruciatingly long period of time...to him.

Buffy had swallowed, coming back to herself and turned to him. One look at her face had told him everything: she'd known.

"I love you too." She'd said, quietly.

"Buffy..." He'd stepped towards her and caught her in a deep and passionate kiss, pouring everything he felt into it and feeling it echoed back to him from her.

Finally.

When the kiss broke off, he had scooped her up and carried her down the path, his eyes never leaving hers. He'd set her down gently and sat across from her, taking the bottle of wine to open it.

She hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him. He was simply beautiful. There was no other word to describe it. The sunlight had made his blonde hair seem aflame, but in the moonlight...the candlelight...it shined like diamonds. She'd reached up a hand to play with the curls closest to his angelic face. He'd smiled "Dawn's idea."

"Remind me to thank her."

He'd opened the bottle of wine and poured her a glass and then himself. After he set the bottle down, they'd toasted.

"To...the future."

"The future, luv." They both took small draughts. "You hungry, pet?"

"This is very good wine. Yes...a little." She'd smiled. A look of confusion had passed over her face when he'd reached for two small jars: one filled with Morello cherries soaked in brandy and the other filled with a hazelnut and chocolate spread he had announced as Nutella. "I've never heard of it."

He had looked at her as if she'd grown a third eye in the middle of her forehead.

"You're kidding, right?" She'd shaken her head. A wicked grin then burst out on his face and he'd opened the jar, scooping some out and putting it into a small chafing dish that sat atop a tealight warmer. The chocolate had begun to melt as Buffy watched. Spike had poured the cherries into a bowl.

He'd taken a small fork, selected a cherry, dipped it in the chocolate and brought it to her lips.

"Open wide, pet." He'd smiled. Buffy's eyes had rolled up into her head as she swallowed the delicious substance. 

"_That_...is the best thing I've ever had in my mouth!" She had moaned as her tongue darted out to catch the stray smudges on her now gloss-free lips. Spike tilted his head and smiled at her reaction.

"I bet you say that to all the fellows." Her eyes had popped open at that and she'd glared at him and then had the good sense to look embarassed.

"I...uh..."

"S'ok, pet." Spike hadn't wanted to waste any time discussing or even _thinking_ about her...date...with the principal.  
"I was only kidding. Do you want some more?"

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes." Buffy had bounced on her bottom like an eager child.

----------

That brought them to this moment.

"I don't know if I am all that incredible, pet, but this sure is. You..." He bent his head and gently kissed the curve of her neck before he came back up and met her eyes. "-here with me, like this. It's a bloody dream come true."

"For me too, baby." She noticed the blush and the smile this time. "What?" She grinned, ducking her head to meet his eyes.

"S'nothin, jus'...I like that." He waggled his head to dismiss and further discussion, but she pressed anyway.

"You like what?" He wouldn't answer. "C'mon." She kissed him lightly.

"You...you keep calling me...baby." He barely whispered the last word, but she heard it and smiled brightly.

"You like that huh, baby?" He blushed again, closing his eyes and she grinned as his adorable response. "Nice to know." He groaned loudly and hugged her to him.

"Oh GOD! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!" He threw his head back and screamed, laughing. She was a little taken by surprise but she laughed too. He brought his head back up and met her eyes, his eyes glinting with the light of a thousand stars. "I love you Buffy...so much, luv." He pulled her close and held her, swaying back and forth. "So much." He said quietly.

"I love you too, baby. And thank you for tonight." She laid her head on his chest and inhaled him, sighing contentedly.

"Night's not over yet, kitten." He purred slowly into her ear. Her body reacted immediately and she began to tremble. He felt it and leaned back very slowly to see her face. Her dark green orbs were glazing over with a look he'd never seen directed at him, from her, before. He narrowed his eyes, drawing in his cheeks. "You hungry?"

She nodded slowly.

He moved to let her go and step away so that he could fix her something to eat but she caught his face in one hand and brought it back to hers.

She was hungry, yes...but not for food. Spike's lips parted and he drew a quick breath...and then smiled.

--------

He had wanted this for so long, he didn't know what to do first. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, hands fluttering over her hair; fingers combing through the soft locks. She placed her hands against his chest and became fascinated by the rapid beating of his heart; the tremor of his body.

She did this to him.  
_Her_.

He brought his head back again and looked into her eyes. Buffy stood on tiptoe, never breaking the gaze, and kissed him with parted lips. She could see the heat and hunger...the craving...inside of him. It invigorated her...moved her. She wanted him the same way and she knew that nothing would come between them now.

She slipped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, running her tongue lightly along the roof of his mouth. He shivered.  
She closed her eyes at the deliciousness of him. The taste. The smell. The smoldering heat.

She did this to him.  
_Her_.

He was moaning and trembling and Oh God, it had never been like this before. Not for him. Not with anyone, least of all her. He felt...he felt inexperienced. All of these sensations were so new. William had never done this before and Spike...well...it had all been cold comfort or borrowed heat. But this...

Buffy took control. She broke the kiss and stepped back from him, leaving him panting and groaning from the loss of her, but he stood there frozen in his passion. She smiled sympathetically at the look on his face: fear.

"Don't be afraid, baby. I'll take care of you." She rested her foot on top of the basket and began to unlace one of her sandals. She watched his eyes fall on her bare leg and could almost feel them feasting on her skin. She liked that. She repeated it with the other one, tossing the shoes aside.

Reaching for him, she caught the fabric of his tee in her fingers and tugged upward until it snapped out of the waistband of his pants. He only stood there watching her in awe, unable to move, unable to think of anything but this exquisite woman offering herself, her body and heart, to him. Buffy pulled the shirt over his head and had to swallow at the sight of his bare chest.

My God, the man was gorgeous.

She paused to kiss him again, working her way up from his chest to his succulent lips and he returned it eagerly until she broke it off once again. She stepped back and, never breaking his gaze, unfastened the three buttons of her skirt. It dropped to the blanket, revealing a black cotton panty that was a hair thick and a breath wide.

She thought she saw some drool escape his mouth. She smiled and reached for him again. His expression had changed. The fear was gone replaced with...WANT.

"Buffy...' His voice was onyx gravel. She felt it travel to her core and wrap itself around her, stoking the fires of her need for him.

Quickly unfastening his belt buckle, button and zipper, she looked up at him again. She ran her hand across his collarbone, down his chest and across his abdomen in broad strokes, admiring the smooth perfection of his skin, before she dipped it below the waistline and gently brushed his erection. It jumped, scorching hot, against her hand and Spike closed his eyes while letting out a ragged breath.

"Oh...ga-uhmm." He groaned, opening them. He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her roughly. His passion threatened to overwhelm his senses. What she did to him. What she _did_ to him! He ravaged her mouth, attempting to draw her into himself through the mere act of kissing. His hands were everywhere and Buffy soon realized that she was no longer in control of this encounter.

She gasped as he released her from the kiss and attacked her neck, leaving a wet trail across her skin that set her on fire in the cooling night air. She felt his fingers slide under the thin fabric of her top before he lifted it up and over her head and arms. He threw the shirt aside and fell into kissing her again. She swayed on her feet, her emotions and her desire removing her ability to function properly.

He plunged his tongue into her mouth over and over, leaving her dizzy, and then moved down her neck to her collarbone. He dipped her gracefully in his arms until her head fell back and the stiff peaks of her nipple were under his mouth. She tasted so sweet! Spike licked the undersides of her breasts and she moaned out loud, squeezing her eyes shut. When she felt the first touch of his tongue on the tortured pebbles, she cried out his name.

He suckled her like a newborn and licked and nibbled the sensitive flesh until she cried out again. She was shaking. He tilted her back upright and attacked her mouth again. She threw her arms around his neck and returned his kiss in full. They devoured each other, both falling prey to the kiss. Giving in to it. Surrendering to each other. To the feel of their skin against the other's.

Spike placed his arms under her and lifted her up, licking her nipples again as they passed his mouth. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested her elbows on his shoulders, her legs around his chest, her fingers in the soft hairs at the nape of his neck. Her hair hung down in his face and he moved his head back and forth, allowing the silky locks to brush him lightly. Looking deep into her eyes, he lowered her until her legs were around his waist. His hardened flesh, still inside the pants, rested against her apex. He could felt the heat. And the smell...

Her smell was driving him in-fucking-sane.

His senses weren't as acute as they had been before, but it didn't matter. This was all _so_ much better. The anticipation made everything so much more intense. He slowly fell to his knees, Buffy still wrapped around him, still kissing him, and lowered her to the blanket. It was soft under her bare back. He released her only to sit back on his heels and stare at the wonderous beauty before him.

Her hair splayed out in a golden halo from her head, she looked at him with complete and total love in her eyes. It made William want to weep, but Spike burned that thought away just by looking at her nubile body. Her face was tilted to the side so that she could see him without propping herself up. One arm was under her head, the other rested carefree across her flat stomach. One leg lay straight while the other, bent at the knee, rested her foot on the blanket. She was a goddess and she was his, all of her, and he wanted her so badly he ached.

Reading his mind, she reached for the flaps of his open trousers. He felt her graze the top of his throbbing erection and he let her know, in no small terms, that he was ready for her. He then stood and stripped himself of his last garment. Buffy gazed at him appraisingly.

"Is it alright to tell you that I think you're beautiful? You're the most beutiful man I've ever seen." She smiled.

He knelt before her and placed a chaste kiss on her kneecap, which made her giggle.

"'I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.'" He said softly.

"I know that. It's...Brownie?" She knit her brow a bit.

"Browning, luv, yes." He smiled at her, bright and warm. It melted her insides like caramel. She reached for him and he lowered himself so that his body only covered hers partially. He kissed her gently, fingers stroking her peachskin-soft flesh. His eyes were closed, hers open. She studied his face in the candlelight when he pulled back. He merely smiled.

Lowering his head again, he kissed the curve of her neck and planted butterfly kisses down to her breast where his tongue darted out to tease the little raisin at the end. Buffy's eyes closed as her mouth dropped open. He studied her face as he licked her and smiled to himself as he left the area and worked his way down. He kissed the smooth skin of her abdomen, hooking his finger into the wisp of underwear she wore and pulled it down her toned legs, kissing all the way. He put them aside, moved back up and hovered over the tight, dark curls of her mound. He rubbed his nose in them, lightly, and she squrimed in anticipation.

"Cor, pet. You smell like heaven." She lowered her hand to his hair and toyed with the curls within reach. "I want to taste you, luv." She spread her legs ever so slightly, and he settled himself between them, inhaling deeply. He extended his tongue along the soft fold of her outer lips and was surprised to find the copious juices there already.

"You're all ready for me, kitten. Oh God, I want you so bad." He licked the silky innerwalls of her lips and she shuddered beneath him. He did it again, only at the end he found her taught little bundle of nerves and flicked it lightly. She jumped and her thighs began to tremble. He wrapped his hands around them to steady her.

"S-spike...oh...please, baby. " Buffy's head was rolling back and forth on the blanket. Her fingers tightened themselves in his hair as he explored her further, plunging his tongue deep inside and out again; devouring her sex like so much ripe fruit. She was beside herself. The pleasure blinded her, stole her tongue. Someone was making these fevered, gutteral sounds, was that her?

She moaned and writhed beneath him and it only drove him on. He _loved_ doing this to her; for her. She was so sweet and so hot, it made him dizzy. His erection ground mindlessly against the blanket beneath him, moving in time with the gyration of her hips. He reached up one hand and kneaded a firm breast, running the nipple between the soft insides of two fingers.

In his head there were a hundred Buffys beneath him. One in his mouth. One in his hands. One under him, her inner muscles milking him, drawing him out. He moaned into her and she felt the vibrations in her womb. It sent her over the edge and she came screaming, yellow lights dancing inside her heavy eyelids.

He drank her down, every ounce, and licked every stray drop from her inner thighs. It was ambrosia.

Buffy opened her eyes to the sky. In her peripheral view she saw some of the swaying candles in the tree. Directly overhead, an audience of stars winked back at her. She felt him crawl up her body and she lowered her gaze. His eyes were no longer blue, but black with desire. Her nostrils flared as her own desire built up again inside her. She needed to feel him within. She needed to drive him over the edge and mindless with ecstacy.

She raised her head to meet his lips, tasting herself in his kiss. It was a sweet and smoky flavor that she'd learned from his lips only. He pulled back from her and the heat of her gaze burned so hot, he was startled. Her passion for him was acute, and the depth of love he saw there stunned him into silence. She wore the candlelight like a heavenly veil. It lent its glow to her already radiant skin and he stared at her in wonder. Buffy raised herself up on her elbows, and teased him with near-kisses.

"Lie down, baby." It was a gentle command and he flowed over her onto the blanket to lay on his back. Buffy rolled over on top of him and brought herself up on her hands to hover over his chest. She smiled briefly and lowered her head so that the honeyed wheat of her hair brushed along his skin. Bending her knees, she continued to drag her mane down his body, swaying her neck back and forth, tickling him with silk. When she threw her head back and gazed down upon him, she smiled at the effect of her little tease. But one look in his eyes told her they would have time for that later. For now, he needed her.

Buffy kissed her way up his thighs, briefly stopping to lick the head of his member which danced at the contact. Spike groaned loudly.

"Buffy...baby, please." She licked him more firmly, closing her mouth over him for a moment before continuing her journey. She seated herself on his upper thighs, his erection resting up against her coarse curls. She smiled at him as she stroked it gently.

"Love you." She saw the flicker of wonder in his eyes. She would never tire of that. Never.

Raising herself up, she slowly lowered herself onto him. They both moaned at the initial contact. It had been too, too long. Far too long. Buffy wondered how she'd survived without the feel of him. But this was so different from then. There was no way it couldn't be.

Spike thrust his hips upwards, involuntarily, and was rewarded by the clenching of her inner walls. Buffy arched her back and moved in slow circles atop him, driving herself up and down the length of his shaft. Her eyes were closed and her head thrown back wantonly, mouth open in a silent 'O'. Spike grabbed onto her hips and studied the siren moving over him. She was as hot as he remembered, but there was something else: An intensity to her movement. An intent. She _wanted_ to bring him pleasure. She _wanted_ to please _him._

"Oh, luv, you're so sweet to me." He half-whispered.

"All for you, baby..." her voice was raspy with the build-up of her pleasure. "Only you, Spike. My William." She opened her eyes and met his gaze. They locked into one another and the rhythm increased as they moved together, instinctively knowing what the other needed.

For Spike, it came as a surprise. The ball of energy started in his gut and then he felt his sac tighten before the stars exploded behind his eyes. He screamed. He screamed her name until his throat was raw with the sound of her. He screamed so loudly that he didn't hear his name on her lips as she came. Buffy felt the hot liquid shoot up into her and it startled her. Where he had once been icy balm to soothe her passion, he was now liquid heat urging her on. She lost all feeling, save for what was happening in her loins. She heard her name on the night air sung by a choir of voices; all his.

They climbed down the mountain together and she collapsed on his chest. They both passed out.  


----------------

When Buffy came to, Spike was holding her against him, playing with her hair. At some point he had moved her so that only her upper body rested on him. They were laying on the blanket with another one draped across them. When he felt her stir, Spike kissed the top of her head.

"Mornin', luv." Didn't matter that the sky was dark and the stars still shining. She was his sun, and when she awoke, the sun rose.

"Mmm, I do love this blanket. It's so soft." She snuggled up to him.

"Yeah, luv, it's the softest I could find. Only the best for my girl." He inhaled the faint vanilla scent of her hair and stroked her back, loving the feel of the lean muscles under the buttery skin. Buffy shifted to lay on her back, her head resting on his shoulder. She looked up at the tree and then over at the virtually untouched picnic.

"This has been so magical, Spike, but don't think you have to do things like this for me. I'm not...not worth all of this. Just a cheeseburger and fries kinda gal...that's me."

He thought to respond and correct her, but he knew she'd never accept it. He never did understand this: her insecurity. Didn't she know by now that she was his universe? That next to her, nothing could ever compare? Well if reassuring was what she needed, he would give it to her every day for the rest of their lives.

She turned to her side and ran her fingers lightly over the piece of blanket on his chest, her fingers traveling the small valleys created by his musculature.

"Is my skin this soft?" She asked quietly. Seriously.

"Softer." He replied, eyes closed, smiling contentedly.

-fin-

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